


Is this the end? Hold your breath and count to ten

by respektblatt (thealwaystired)



Series: Franky Doyle in Wentworth Season 5 [1]
Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-20 23:45:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10673232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealwaystired/pseuds/respektblatt
Summary: The end of S5 Ep2She's worried and scarred and she hates to feel that way. They both do.





	1. Bridget

**Author's Note:**

> This is the beginning of a little series I'm putting out. Each work of it will focus on a different episode and will have either one or a couple of little chapters evolving around Franky and Bridget, their feelings, thoughts,... I guess, you got the idea ;-) Enjoy! xxx

Bridget is hurt.

She is worried and scared and she hates to feel that way and hates it even more now that she feels that way because of Franky not having told her the truth, not the entire one.  
She feels betrayed and sad and maybe even angry.

All she had wanted to do was to help Franky. She was willing to put everything else aside, screw all the consequences this might have for her and do whatever she needed to do in order to help Franky through this time and get her out of there as quickly as possible.  
And she didn't want to do any of these things because she wanted Franky back at home, dancing to old lezzo-music when really she should get some work done, or cooking her some dinner, so she'd be welcomed by a warm, appetising smell when opening the front door returning from a long working day.  
It wasn't even about her, none of it was.

The only reason she wanted to help Franky was Franky herself.  
She couldn't stand the idea, the image of her being back in this place that she of all people didn't belong at. Bridget knew that Franky probably felt sad and scared and maybe even a little hopeless right from the moment she heard about her being arrested. In there laid the only reason for Bridget to be willing to put at risk whatever if it meant she could help Franky in any way.  
Franky was the reason she wanted to help Franky. That was it.

But now, as it turns out, she did all of that without knowing what was actually going on, without knowing the whole story.  
Truth is, that isn’t even the worst part, that doesn’t even really matter. The worst part and what truly matters is, that despite all of that, despite of their love - and whatever just happened, she knows that they both love each other to pieces, she's the most certain about that of all things - Franky did not trust her. Maybe Franky doesn’t even trust her now. Would she have told Bridget everything she has just told her if they hadn't found her DNA all over that gun? Would she have ever told Bridget any of it if she hadn't been arrested? Sadly, Bridget feels like she knows the answer to that. Maybe Franky still doesn't trust her after all.

Despite all the sadness and betrayal and anger, she thinks to be feeling, she just cannot seem to wrap her head around that fact. Of course, she's aware of Franky's former "emotional block", but frankly, she thought they had moved past that quite some time ago. After all, it is what it's been all about ever since the first time they met.

 

_"You’re the one who breached the trust, onus it is on you to rebuild."_

_"Trust is a two way street."_

 

Thinking about that know hurts. These words hurt.

Bridget is hurting.

She is hurting when she walks out on Franky, she is hurting when she almost slams the door shut after going back to her office, she is hurting when she comes back home that night and she is still hurting when she decides to take a hot shower to try and wash some of it.

This isn't the end. She knows. She just needs to let it sink in, allow herself to feel the pain. She will be alright. They will be alright. This isn't the end. She holds her breath and counts to ten.


	2. Franky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope - that's you all over

Bridget is hurting.

As she walks away Franky can feel that too.

She didn’t become angry, though Bridget said some things which could definitely caused her becoming angry. She didn’t. She wasn't that kind of person anymore who blindly let her anger take control of her. Franky knows that this was kind of her fuck up, that it was on her to “rebuild“ it this time. Franky also knows that she doesn’t want things to be this way, that she will have to do something about it, as much as she knows that she needs to let some time pass, make her mind up on her own for starters. Time does heal, after all, isn't that what Bridget always says? And time would also give them a chance to sort this out and make things right again. She's sure.

She's sure about that when standing in that hallway, thinking about how Bridget was definitely going to let these tears, that she had seen in her eyes just seconds before, out at some point, maybe tonight at home, which alone made Franky feel even worse about everything. She's sure about it when getting into that shower being looked at by all these women who she would have paid quite some attention to at back in the day, but couldn't have cared about less now. She's also still sure about it when leaning against that cold, disgusting, green wall trying to let the warm water relax her mind and body for just a moment.

 

Franky went behind the walls of Wentworth prison with her freedom hanging around her neck, she was told to take it off shortly after

_"Take off your jewellery!"_

but kept it hidden as a symbol of hope. As long as she has it, there is always the possibility of putting it on again at any time - _“pretty fucking soon actually“._

She leaves that hope for freedom behind in her cell hidden between the mattress and sheets, to go meet detectives who ripp all her hope away and a lawyer who does crash it even more when essentially telling her that the best way this could go was no freedom for many years, worst case, name them, 25. As hope vanished, fear took its place and instead of letting anger replace it, she took that fear out on everything her hope for freedom was caged in - that room with that mattress and these sheets on that fucking bed.

Having calmed down, even slept - slept in a place she doesn’t want to feel like a home ever again - the first thing she does in a hesitant way is to look if her freedom, her hope to regain it soon, was still there. It was. She found it and she held onto it, though she still kept it hidden from others. That hope was nothing more than a tiny spark of what it had been when she first entered this building the other morning, but it was hers and hers alone, she would hold onto it and have no one take it away from her.

In light of losing her safe haven by having Bridget walk away from her at least for the moment, Franky knows that after all, her hope for freedom lies in nothing but surrendering to the fact that there was no hope - surrendering in the eyes of the beholder, and only that.

 

That realisation hits her hard as warm water is running down her back.

She slowly but surely faces her fear of what all of this meant for her by turning around, closing her eyes and covering up her ears with her hands. She needs to take a couple of deep breaths, in order to gather all the courage and hope she has left inside her in one spot and then in one fast movement, one bit of a second, exposes herself to the fact of what she had to do by opening her eyes and pulling away her hands from her ears.

There she was, there she is.

Back in her cell she does put on her teal, she surrenders, gives up her hope and her freedom, everything she is - that’s what everyone will think, that’s how it will look to everyone.

_"Everyone?"_

More importantly though, she puts her hope and her freedom up on the wall, forcing herself to look at it and be reminded of it every single day and night of the fight.

She won’t lose it. Not her hope, not her freedom, not herself, not again.

That's what she promises herself when looking in the mirror. This is not the end. She holds her breath and counts to ten.

**Author's Note:**

> In case you are interested in my thoughts on episode 2, feel free to check out my full review of it :-) And please, feel welcomed to share your thoughts on the stories, characters & episodes with me! :-)
> 
> Episode 2 review  
> On Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/story/106386425-franky-doyle-wentworth-season-5  
> On my website: https://respektblatt.jimdo.com/ww5-02/
> 
> Contact me on Twitter & Instagram @thealwaystired


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